The Power of Positive ThoughtsPosted: June 13, 2008
I am poisoned by negative self-talk. Over the past year and a half or so, I have made a real effort to change the constant attacks on my self by my self. It is tough though. I don’t know where I picked up this self-loathing… but it’s gotten old. I think when I hit thirty, I decided that I needed to heal the wounds of the past and move on. I couldn’t continue like this. But, the universe or whatever really puts my attempts at positivity (is that a word?) to the test.
An old co-worker once told me that the key to changing my life was to get rid of negative self-talk. A priest once told me that with true love of self – all of the answers will come to me (what do I want to be when I grow up etc). I think that I am afraid to admit that I might like myself. I’m afraid to admit that I might be attractive, that I’m thin, that I’m smart… it seems to come so easily for other people. Why isn’t it easy for me? Does it start with your parents? I sort of think that this is where it began – but I don’t want to blame anyone else for who I am today. I have made my own choices. I am who I am because of my own actions. Living in the moment. Loving myself. Being grateful for what a beautiful life I have been given.
Enough about me…
Every time I watch a news story regarding Canada’s apology to the native people – I want to cry. I just cannot believe that this happened here in Canada. It breaks my heart that for so many decades children were taken from their parents. My heart breaks for the parents, my heart breaks for the children, my heart breaks for the culture. The abuse that these children suffered… living in fear, living terrified. How could this have happened? I hope that the wounds of the past will eventually heal for the native people of Canada. I hope that the apology will at least bring some peace to the ghosts of the children of the residential schools and to the native people that continue to struggle day to day with their scars.