Feeling… schlumpy. I know that this is not a word. I am just not motivated. Not at all. I feel so behind on everything that I just can’t kick start myself to get over the hump of schlump. Every time I get on a roll… the baby requires my attention. I’m tired. I’m feeling frumpy and schlumpy. I might have to enlist the help of my mother to watch the bebe whilst I work away at cleaning and un-schlumping the house. That’ll make my head feel a whole lot better…
I am poisoned by negative self-talk. Over the past year and a half or so, I have made a real effort to change the constant attacks on my self by my self. It is tough though. I don’t know where I picked up this self-loathing… but it’s gotten old. I think when I hit thirty, I decided that I needed to heal the wounds of the past and move on. I couldn’t continue like this. But, the universe or whatever really puts my attempts at positivity (is that a word?) to the test.
An old co-worker once told me that the key to changing my life was to get rid of negative self-talk. A priest once told me that with true love of self – all of the answers will come to me (what do I want to be when I grow up etc). I think that I am afraid to admit that I might like myself. I’m afraid to admit that I might be attractive, that I’m thin, that I’m smart… it seems to come so easily for other people. Why isn’t it easy for me? Does it start with your parents? I sort of think that this is where it began – but I don’t want to blame anyone else for who I am today. I have made my own choices. I am who I am because of my own actions. Living in the moment. Loving myself. Being grateful for what a beautiful life I have been given.
Enough about me…
Every time I watch a news story regarding Canada’s apology to the native people – I want to cry. I just cannot believe that this happened here in Canada. It breaks my heart that for so many decades children were taken from their parents. My heart breaks for the parents, my heart breaks for the children, my heart breaks for the culture. The abuse that these children suffered… living in fear, living terrified. How could this have happened? I hope that the wounds of the past will eventually heal for the native people of Canada. I hope that the apology will at least bring some peace to the ghosts of the children of the residential schools and to the native people that continue to struggle day to day with their scars.
Salba was first introduced to me by my in-laws. It has been a wonderful addition to my diet. If you have a slow digestive system… this stuff will change that. It feels good to rid the body of waste on a daily basis as opposed to a couple of times per week. I’m amazed. I know that this is a sort of gross, yucky topic but it is something that affects most people at one time or another.
I do feel as if I have more energy because of Salba. If you are like me and you find that you get low blood sugar at times throughout the day – Salba seems to be helping me to combat this.
I add it (one tablespoon per day for me) to oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce, sprinkle the seeds on a spinach leaf salad… you could add it to anything really.
It is wonderful stuff… in fact I think I’ll go have some right now.